A Little Note

  It has been a while since I have wrote something. o apologies. No excuses. Just the feeling of nothing to say or anything worthwhile to say. I really don't know what to say or really how to feel, except for the last few days i have been having the feeling of a case of the Blahs. "No man's Land" of feelings. There is something wrong but yet there is nothing wrong. I don't like this feeling mainly because it brings an unsettled feeling and not one of calmness. If it was a feeling of calm I would be fine but this feeling makes me wish I was either happy or sad. I'd rather be crying my eyes out or laughing. Better yet I'd rather be laughing so hard that I am crying.

  The real scary part of this feeling is that, in addition to my anti-depressants, I want to drink to help make it go away and that is sooooo not me. I can go years without taking a drink but for some reason I want to really drink and not my usual creme sherry or brown ale.  I have liked having my blended egg nog in the past but this is the second Christmas in a row where I think it would be too sweet. With whiskey, brandy and rum in the egg nog I don't know why I feel it would be sweet but I guess my taste buds are getting funny. Anyway, If all I drink is a small glass of sherry at night every once in  while I think I will be alright.

  Maybe if I write more things will straighten out.I don't know. I really have no one to talk to. Right now I feel more alone than I have in a very long time.

  Hope everyone  of you is doing good.

  Talk again sometime later.