Sunday, October 26, 2014

Fighting Anxiety

 I have been debating whether or not to post what is written below or delete it. If I did delete it would be, I believe, the fourth post on the topic of anxiety to have this done to it. The writing was to an extent cathartic.

  I am now feeling better thanks to my two antidepressants, which are low dosage or at least one is, that I'm taking. So the following thoughts do not apply right now and I hope not ever again because it was very bad and very scary for me. I went on Facebook and said that "Gone crazy because I can't quit crying and have taken my antidepressant.I don't know why either. RA (Richard Armitage for those that don't know he is an English actor) does not help. I don't know what is wrong with me. I am so lost. Help me somebody. I am scared." Rereading what I wrote and then writing it again is heartbreaking and I want to cry because of how low I got. Blessedly I had a lot of support that night and a few days afterwards from my Facebook friends, some of who are also Twitter friends. I would be lost without them.

Thank you again my friends for your love and support.

Remember the following was my state of mind on October 11at what turns out to be just after 10pm my time. All is good now. :

 Diagnosed with anxiety a week ago and was given medicine one of which takes two weeks to rework and the other works immediately and to be used as a bridge until the first one works. Well, joy of joys I thought that the first one kicked in a week early and I was fine and dandy. Officially that was yesterday because it is now almost one in the morning the next day and I am suffering from insomnia again. It was nice to kind of pass out after the first few days but I still had the crying for no reason and am starting to feel that way again.

All of this has been going on for months, maybe even years, and like I said I just really now decided to get help. I mean what else can one do when they are about to have a crying fit in front of one's doctor because none of your doctors can figure out why your blood pressure and heart rate numbers are out of whack. Plus with encroaching darkness, which has not been THOUGHT of since I was ten years old and has never been regretted until recently. Somewhere in me is some kind of sense that came through when I felt my lowest that kept the feeling of it being ridiculous to regret what I did not do at ten years old.

With ALL that being said I sit here tonight/morning and feel like I have had it. Now I feel like I am biding my time. No life. No family of my own, parent and extended family are not counted in this thought. I am tired of being alone and yet I am passed wallflower shy. 

Monday, August 18, 2014

McQueen Monday #8

It has been a few months since I have posted anything for 'McQueen Monday' so before this Monday runs out for me I will post a few McQueen pieces. Enjoy.

Alexander McQueen Fall/Winter 2014/2015

Alexander McQueen Pre-Fall 2013-2014

A favorite.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Monday, April 28, 2014

McQueen Monday #6 - Widows of Culloden

  Dress is from Alexander McQueen's Widows of Culloden Fall/Winter 2006-2007 dress. When asked about the antlers Alexander McQueen replied:

When we put on the model and draped over it the lace embroidery that we had made,
we had to poke through a £2,000 piece of work. But then it worked because it looked 
like she rammed the piece of lace with her antlers.There's always spontaneity. 
You've got to allow for that in my shows. 


Wednesday, March 19, 2014

St. Joseph's Day 2014


  March 19 is St. Joseph Feast Day and traditionally falls during the Lenten season and is a day of abstinence, which is why St. Joseph tables and alters are meatless.

  If the feast falls on a Sunday other than Palm Sunday. it is observed on the next available day, usually Monday, March 20, unless it is another saints feast day. Since 2008, if St. Joseph's Day falls during Holy Week, it is moved to the closest date possible before March 19, usually the Saturday before Holy Week. This change was announced by  the Congregation for Divine Worship in March-April 2006.

  St. Joseph is the patron saint of the Catholic Church, carpenters, workers, unborn children, realtors, against doubt and hesitation, and a happy death. Personally, I think he should also be the patron saint of step-parents, foster parents and adoptive parents, for he was one and took in another's Child to raise as his own.

  St. Joseph is also the patron saint of many countries, such as: Croatia, Vietnam, Malta, Philippines, United States, Spain, and Italy are just some.

  On the Italian island of Sicily, where St. Joseph is regarded as the island's patron saint, and in many Italian-American communities, thanks are given to St. Joseph for helping to prevent a famine on the island during the Middle Ages. The drought was so severe in Sicily that the inhabitants prayed to their patron saint for rain and if St. Joseph answered their prayers the would prepare a large feast in his honor. As it is said, the rains came and the Sicilians prepared a large banquet for St. Joseph. The fava bean is the crop that saved the people of Sicily from starvation and is a traditional part of St. Joseph's Day altars. Giving food to the poor is a traditional part of St. Joseph's Day. In some communities. on St. Joseph's Day, it also traditional to wear red and eat the Neapolitan pastry, Zeppole.

 On a typical St. Joseph altar people place, wine, limes, fava beans, candles, flowers, specially prepared cakes, breads and cookies (as well as other meatless dishes and zeppole. Foods are traditionally served containing bread crumbs for bread crumbs are the representation of sawdust since St. Joseph was a carpenter. Because the feast occurs during Lent there is no meat served on the celebration table. The altar has traditionally three tiers that represent the Trinity.

  In Italy St. Joseph's Day is also Father's Day. Good day to have I think.

 In the U.s. In Louisiana, especially New Orleans, which was a major port of entry for Sicilian immigrants in the late 19th century, St. Joseph's Day is a city-wide event and not just for those of Sicilian background. There are both public and private St. Joseph altars. For those that wish to pay homage the altars are usually open to visitors. After the altar is taken down the food is usually given to local charities.

  There are also parades held to honor St. Joseph and the Sicilian population in New Orleans, which is akin to those of St. Patrick's Day and Mardi Gras. On this day, some Mardi Gras Indians stage their last procession of the season on the Sunday nearest to St. Joseph's Day. This is known as "Super Sunday" and afterwards their costumes are dismantled.

New Orleans St. Joseph's Day 2014 courtesy of The Times-Picayune